Just when you think, I’ve got this nailed, along comes toilet training. I’m three years in and I’ve finally got my body back, the baby-brain lobotomy is on the mend, and I don’t even feel guilty when I go out for Thirty Thursdays (aka work drinks) ... and then bam! I’m cleaning the sh*t off my kids’ undies and wondering how my life has come to this.
Yes, I know it’s inevitable and yes, I know it’s better than changing nappies for the foreseeable future. But seriously, toilet training twins is akin to stabbing yourself in the eye… while covered in faeces.
So we started over the Christmas break. Partly because it was the longest period of time with no day care and distractions, but mostly because we were staying with my parents. Nothing says Merry Christmas and I love you better than two pooping three-nagers coming to stay right?! (thanks Mum).
Three weeks past and not a single poo in the toilet. Yes, that’s 50 plus pairs of undies that I had to extricate, rinse, soak, wash, dry and repeat during my well earned holiday (see working mum post for further reference).
Finally, my husband (the closest germ-a-phobe) declared “That’s it, I can’t take it anymore!”. He can be a bit dramatic, so I politely reminded him that I had in fact dealt with almost every accident to date. On the few occasions he was tasked with the clean up, he wore a kitchen apron and dishwashing gloves to avoid “contamination”. Bickering aside, we swiftly agreed to put nappies back on the boys.
They say having kids is a rollercoaster of emotion. The following 3 hours proved that case in point. Mid-play, Leo turns to me and exclaims, “Mum, I need to do a poo!” Seriously kid, I’ve been telling you for the past 3 weeks to give me notice and now, with a nappy on, you give me forewarning? Inside voice reminds me *be grateful*. I whisk him off to the bathroom and lo and behold, he does a small brown nugget IN THE TOILET! We couldn’t have been more overjoyed, there were tears of happiness and chocolate all round.
Fast forward another 15 minutes, Leo returns to playing (sans nappy given his recent achievement) and proceeds to take the biggest dump on a shag rug. Ahhhhh deep breathes.
We agreed that perhaps they weren’t ready (duh!) and we shouldn’t rush it. Surely they won’t be wearing nappies when they’re 16, so we’ve got this.
Here we are, day three of our second attempt at toilet training. Feeling brave, I decided to take the boys down to the beach this morning on my own, followed by lunch at a local café. All was going swimmingly, two wees in the toilet and we’re all happy.
I would love to say the story has a happy ending… but just as the food arrived, Luca decided to do a poo on the floor of the café. On the bright side, it can only get better from here, right!